Word: Peace

Today, my intention is to rest in the “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). 

The last several days have been very difficult and emotionally stormy as I watch my parents grieve the loss of their daughter and my sister, precious Judy. As the upheaval intensifies, Mom and Dad face the reality of losing a second daughter, me, to my GBM brain cancer I named “Bittersweet”. I see Mom and Dad doing their best, holding fast as they weather these raging storms together, storms that batter their innermost being. But through this, I see God setting the anchor of their faith deep into God’s love for us. These storms, and the pain they bring, seem unbearable, but we don’t bear these storms alone. These are God’s storms.

Another raging storm is having to watch Ken deal with the pain of losing me.

Ken, I want to make your pain stop, but I know I cannot make it stop. I know I should not try to make your pain stop because I know that God is lovingly using these circumstances and these most difficult situations to work in both of our hearts. I continue to trust that He is using this pain for a higher purpose in each of us. 

A year ago, through very challenging personal circumstances, God gently pricked my heart with an awareness, something that He used to shine light and healing into some very deep corners of my heart. My codependency wants to kick in during these difficult times, but God has brought a new depth of understanding, and faith in His work, to free me from this life-long struggle. 

As these storms come and go, I continue to trust that He created me for purposes beyond my own limited understanding, and from this vantage, I trust that He is God, and I am not. Here, God speaks peace to my heart.

Psalm 139 - "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand when I awake, I am still with you. If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; our adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

I love to personalize these verses from Philippians and Proverbs.

So I will rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  I will let my gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. I will not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, I will present my requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:4-7

I will trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding; in all my ways I submit to Him, and He will make my path straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

This is where I find peace. 

Recent Photos

Dec 27, 2020 - Nancy, Alison, and Barb (NAB) for cake and coffee, and water ;-).

Dec 26, 2020 - Andrew, Sarah and Tim join us for Christmas weekend.

Dec 4, 2020 - Deb, Lauri, Glenn, Ken, Jean, Nancy