Journey Home

Nancy and I have been working on a draft for several weeks, but now things have changed, so I'll share what has been happening since April 21.

On May 6, we had a new MRI done and a consult with our oncologist. It was a bit discouraging hearing the cancer had shown some growth since the last MRI. We were advised to consider starting treatment with the drug Avastin as a "quality of life" measure, being aware that the drug does nothing for treating or inhibiting the cancer's growth. The more we read about the drug, the more we thought of the need to trust God and not limit Him. It just seemed out of character to put poison in Nancy's body to "improve quality of life", when that phrase can have different meanings to different people.

It is our belief, based on the facts clearly laid out in the Bible, quality of life begins with our relationship with Jesus and His work on the cross, His death, His resurrection, and the resulting restoration of relationship we can have with our Heavenly Father. Paul, with all the things he suffered, makes this abundantly clear. Solomon and Job talk about this, and David beautifully articulates many life thoughts and illustrations of this. My favorite and a most concise statement of this is found in Romans 8:28 where it says, "all things work together for the good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Understanding this is foundational. Quality of life is having our Heavenly Father embrace us with His love and mercy as we trust in Him through all life's circumstances.

Some of April and the entire month of May was a time of waiting. Every week, Nancy's blood labs returned with flags indicating acute issues prohibiting her from continuing with round three of the monthly chemotherapy treatments. As we waited, Nancy continued to decline in function with left side proprioception, reading, speech, and general cognitive work. Why was this happening? What was God doing in all of this?

Then on Monday, May 31, Memorial Day, I took Nancy to the ER at Froedtert, thinking she may have had a minor stroke. A new CT scan was taken and no stroke was indicated, but after I saw the scan, I realized Nancy was in trouble. 

On June 2, we got a call from our oncologist who said after a review of the CT, the doctors feel there is no need to continue any chemotherapy or other treatments, and no follow-up MRI will be done. The evidence in the CT is sufficient to see there has been substantial change in the growth of the cancer, and there are no options left to consider. At this point, we were directed to seek palliative care and hospice.

The doctors found the following. 

She continues to decline clinically, despite chemotherapy and supportive measures to treat her GBM and left sided weakness/neglect.

Marked vasogenic edema on right parietal with likely disease recurrent at center with significant mass effect and MLS.

CT showed increased size of GBM, increased vasogenic edema, and new midline shift (right to left) of 9mm concerning for herniation.

The right frontoparietal GBM mass appears to have increased in size by at least 4mm since the study performed 4 weeks prior, now measuring 3.4cm.

 

Thursday, June 3, Sarah and Nancy near the beach. The two most beautiful women in the world!

On Friday, June 4, our 38th wedding anniversary, Nancy and I went out to breakfast with two of our dear friends, Michael and Carolyn. After breakfast, we met with two Sharon S. Richardson Hospice representatives at our home. After some paperwork, we planned to meet with a hospice nurse the following Monday at our home. We intended to stop at our local funeral home to gather some  information, but we were both too exhausted to go. Just the kinds of things most people do on their 38th wedding anniversary, right?

On Sunday, June 6, after tucking Nancy into bed, things took a significant turn for the worse. Since then, Nancy requires 24 hour care. Monday at noon, the hospice RN started Nancy on morphine to control the headache from the intracranial pressure. 

On Monday evening, a hospital bed was delivered. I put the bed in the living room so we can all be together, and Nancy can have a great view into the woods and watch the sun set to the west. 

Tuesday morning Nancy said to me in the most innocent voice, "I guess we get to spend one more day together." Since Tuesday evening, Nancy can no longer swallow, so she can no longer eat or drink. She cannot talk or move around on her own. She is now readying for her journey home to be with her Lord and Savior, Jesus and her Heavenly Father. 

Wednesday, June 9 was a day filled with family and friends supporting Nancy and family.

Things are much different now, and changing rapidly.

Tuesday, June 1 with Tyler & Amanda visited with their beautiful new daughter.
We have a special place in our hearts for this family!

Wednesday, June 2 my Mom and Dad visited. We had "juice burgers" from Leon's and spent some time at the beach.

Wednesday, June 2 Nancy can't walk down to the water anymore, so I carried her.
I think her face says it all!

Friday, June 4, our 38th wedding anniversary, we had breakfast with our dear friends Michael and Carolyn.
Now 38 years married to this amazing woman so full of grace!
Friday afternoon, we met with Sharon S. Richardson Hospice and set an appointment to meet the RN on Monday.

Saturday, June 5 the Ryan Baumann family felt lead to stop by while we were at the beach with our kids and grand kids. What a blessing!

Sunday June 6 the three of us went to Christopher Farm gardens for a SCCCF event.
We had a great day, but it seemed like Nancy knew something was wrong.
I knelt down to take this picture and tell her I loved her. She said, "Mmm, I know you do.".

Monday, June 7th Nancy is very happy to be in her new hospital bed in the living room

Nancy and "Pops" sharing their love for each other with hand squeezes

Nancy and her "Mum" looking forward to meeting up again soon

June 10, Pastor John praying with us

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